'Baby boom' support groups

Well, first of all let me apologize for not being consistent in my posts. A lot has changed since my last one, and life has been very hectic. But life also gave me a few more things to write about. So, here goes...

This year has been a very blessed one when it comes to babies, a real baby boom, honestly. I guess I'm just at that age when all of my married friends are ready for cute, chubby, delicious additions. Anyone who had a baby, or have been around a young family in the first couple of weeks after the baby arrives, knows: it's a huge challenge and a lot of work. A lot of stress and sleepless nights. And that part is the same for both US and Ukraine. And any country on the earth. What's different is how people respond to these circumstances.

In Ukraine all the work falls on the young parents (which is totally legitimate - 'your baby - you deal with it'). The only other people whose routine is most likely effected are the new grandparents. They may come to help with the baby, give a couple pieces of advise, let the new mom sleep for a couple of hours... It's a huge advantage to have a Grandma around (and thank God for them!!!), but not everyone has a luxury to live in the same city (or even on the same continent - as in my case). And then what do you do? Well, you deal with it: exhaust, sleepless nights, husband at work all day (or night - depends) and on top of that - cooking, cleaning, trying to deal with a crying baby which you have no idea how to do. And sometimes postpartum depression adds to the list - and that does not help at all...

To my surprise in the US I noticed young families don't really need to deal with all of those things on their own. At least if you're a part of a certain community - for example a church. Doesn't matter if it's a big city or a small town - your church family will not let you down and will do whatever it takes to make this transition easier for you.

First, you have the baby shower (and you'll have one even if you don't go to church, as long as you have at least a few friends). People 'shower' you with baby gifts and necessities. I still can't comprehend this phenomenon. It makes me think of God's grace - every time I go to one of these parties - although I've only been to two of them - both for the same Mom-to-be :)))

There are online registries for those who can't make it to the 'shower' but would like to contribute and get something special for the baby.

What's next... Even before the baby comes, there's already a list of families willing to cook dinners for the new parents. It's such a brilliant idea! Whoever came up with it is a genius. So, basically there is one volunteer who decides to organize the dinner schedule. He or she asks the new parents about their food preferences (allergies are important), makes up a list of days (e.g. every other day - otherwise young families end up with more food than they can eat) and looks for people in church or among friends willing to cook meals. Most of the time there are enough people willing to do that, so each family on the list ends up cooking just one meal - and thanks to this simple system the new parents are provided with ready-cooked fresh meals for two-three weeks. What a huge help, I can't even imagine what relief it must be for the new parents to have someone do that for them!

And of course there's the simple everyday help that comes with close friends. When my sister-in-law had her baby, unfortunately her parents were not around. Her sister was - and that was a huge help and blessing. But what was even more surprising to me is that many of her friends would come over in the first couple of weeks to help with cleaning, organizing, just holding the baby - so the new Mom could simply take a shower (which would last longer than 3 minutes), etc. That to me is simply amazing.

Part of it is having good friends who are willing to stick around and do whatever helps. But I do believe that it's also a cultural thing. Ukrainians are very generous, kind and willing to help and sacrifice. But when it comes to babies, people tend to be more private, keeping their babies (and challenges they are facing) to themselves, not reaching out for help.

I really think we - Ukrainians - should reevaluate a few things, open up a bit, speak out - and there will be hundreds of people willing to help, support, encourage and pray with and for us.